What The Simpsons Can Teach Us About Sarah Palin

When I was a wee lad, I used to sit in front of the TV with pizza bagels and watch the Simpsons. The Halloween episodes were always my favorite. This morning, as I read the news today, I saw some hilarious jokes Sarah Palin had made at the Gridiron Club. Then, I was reminded of a Simpsons episode called “Attack of the 50 Foot Eyesores.”

In this episode, Homer sees an advertisement for a “Colossal doughnut” and races to the Lard Lad Donut establishment to procure one. However, when the donut turns out to be hilariously diminutive, he feels cheated by the advertisement and vows revenge, returning later that night to steal the Lard Lad’s giant doughnut. Unfortunately, a freak storm brings to life the Lard Lad along with various other advertising mascots–Mr. Peanut, The Marlboro Man, etc.

Lisa, always the smart cookie, journeys to an advertising agency for help on defeating the monstrous advertisements. A slick ad exec tells her that when people stop paying attention to advertisements, they simply go away.

Returning to Springfield, she finds the monstrous advertisements on a rampage. Worse still, the townspeople are entranced and cannot stop watching the mindless destruction, which further feeds the monsters’ powers. Lisa solicits the help of Paul Anka who plays a catchy song, temporarily distracting the Springfieldians and defeating the monstrous advertisements for good.

What products Sarah Palin could become a spokesperson for after her star falls like the proverbial Lard Lad in the Simpsons. For example, if she were to become the mascot for Maybelline:

Maybe she’s born with it. Maybe she’s make-believe.

Dear readers, I challenge you to further explore Sarah Palin’s post-Lard Lad career by leaving a comment below. Now, if you’ll excuse me, a fleet of pizza bagels beckon.

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