American Society

Dear American Society:

While waiting for my flu shot at CVS today, I came across these magazines. This is wonderful:

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What else does a man need in life but cats, Kardashian, and Smosh?

One cannot help but think that Smosh is appropriately placed next to KK and Cat in Pumpkin.

Metaphors…

Of course, there was an even grander selection of magazines waiting just above, on the next aisle…

As I was still waiting for my flu shot (the pharmacist was helping an old lady who had selected the wrong size of Reeses

Which will bring on the Zombie apocalypse? Guns or Cooking Light--you decide!

Which will bring on the Zombie apocalypse? Guns or Cooking Light–you decide!

Peanut Butter Cups, which was totally nice of her. And so I gazed upward at the fate of humanity.

It makes sense–one of the weird chemicals in Cooking Light recipes–no sugar sugar (Aspartame), or freaky fat fat (Olestra)–making a bunch of Zombies–well, sir, you’re gonna need over 1700 guns to stop them, right?

 

And finally, it was time for my flu shot–just kidding, it took another half an hour cause the old lady didn’t feel like Reeses Peanut Butter Cups–she wanted the Pieces…

And so I read of Guns and Zombies, wishing I had Pumpkin Cat by my side.

God bless America:

Yours,

DOTM

 

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